My laptop is here (sorta)

Well, Kids;

I’ve recieved my refurbished laptop on Wednesday. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that it’s about 5 or 6 years old, and SLOOOOOOOOOWWWWW.

It is a Compaq ( is that company even around anymore?),  and it needs a cord, along with some more ram ( I have 256).  It’s free, so I am grateful for that.  As soon as I can find a cord to go along with my laptop, I’ll be back to blogging regularly.

In the meantime, I want to thank my friend from Bostonia ( who is probably my only reader at this point), as well as anyone who has hung in there with me over my impromptu hiatus!

There is an essay following this; so chew on that, and I’ll see you in a few!

The Culinary Chick

I’m sooo down for the Double-Down!!!

Oh, Sweet Jesus!!

I’m so down for the Double Down!

This is a travesty I tell you; a TRAVESTY!

Providence and Omaha are the only places where this sandwich is being tested, and quite frankly I’m a bit pissed off about it.

Why CC; are you miffed, you may ask?

I’m perturbed because I don’t get to taste it.  You know you want to taste it too.

Please save the faux indignation and disgust for someone who gives a care, ‘cause I ain’t trying to hear it.  This is by far a stroke of culinary genius, and you may end up having one by the time you eat this.  Using meat as bread??? Yes!!! And deep-fried meat at that? Oh Sweet Jesus. I’ve died and gone to heaven!

You all know I have a giddy fascination for all foods that are so obviously bad for you that eating it may cause an extreme reaction to anyone with health issues.  But what I like about this sandwich is that it is what it is, and there is no pretense about it.  Imagine yourself as that Twilight chick Bella; you know that Edward is a vampire, and he’s gonna bite you at some point. And, you ain’t scared.

Well, neither am I. That’s what statins are for. They are the proverbial holy water to the fat in that sandwich. You know what you are in for the moment you order this sandwich.  A day’s worth of calories and about three day’s worth of fat. I would have to go into training in order to eat this sandwich.

Let’s see: Eating salad with vegetables and no dressing for three days before and only drinking water. My consumption on the day of the suicide meal would consist of only water and a dose of Lipitor, then the sandwich and another dose of Lipitor after eating the sandwich. I would eat only salad for three days afterwards to counterbalance the negative effects.  Only then would my curiosity would be sated. I just hope that the anticipation is worth the risk.

Yes, I’m sure it will be.

** A note to all of you heath freaks out there. Don’t even bother to chastise me for eating and promoting the eating of this sandwich. Clean up your kitchen before you comment on mine.

Back online in about a weeK!!

I’m getting a refurbished laptop sometime next week, so Culinary Chick should bu up and running again soon. Thanks for being so patient with me; all of my blogging stuff was on my old laptop, so I’m sharing a desktop now, which makes it difficult for me to blog. Besides, it’s hot as all hell in my office, and I’ve dreaded using my desktop.

Thanks!!
The CC

The laptop is dead. Long live the desktop!

Oh Hells Mutha-Shagging Bells!

Well Kids, a girl will try her damndest to keep this blog a rolling; but postings may get to be once or twice a week.

( Oh shut up! I know it’s like that already).

 

All of my photo software is on that damn thing, and my desktop “Mable” is too full of other stuff for me to chance loading other stuff on it.

I’ll figure something out; hang in there with me!

My laptop died ( off topic)

I hate techology.

I’m now sitting at my desktop posting this message, because my FARKING laptop died on me last Wednesday. UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

In case you are new to this blog, I am disabled.  I’m not confined to a wheelchair, but my knees are so bad that it is a major effort to get around my house. I walk with a cane and pain is a part of my life now.  My laptop provided me with the convinience of blogging from my cucina with ease. Once I was planted in “Culinary Central”, I was cool.

Life had become a bit easier for me. Now, I have to do all my posting from upstairs. Bummer.

photo courtesy of absoluteraleigh.com

This photo sums up what I feel like right now. Do I have the money to replace the offensive beast. Yes. Will I spend the money? I don’t know.  All of my blog files are inside that asshat of a computer.  Damn Dell Inspiron 6400. I’m going to buy a powercord to see if that is the issue. If it is; then great. If not; oh well. I’ll hit a sale whenver that happens.

Wish a chick luck.

Atlantic Rockfish and Bluefish Advisory

If you are a fan of rockfish or bluefish ( as I am), then you will be dissapointed and alarmed at the lastest in a string of food contamination news that is prevalent in our pollution-riddled society.

The Maryland Department of the Environment said in a June 3 press released a consumption advisory for striped bass and bluefish caught off the coast  of Maryland and other mid-Atlantic states. MDE said these fish contain harmful PCB levels, and should not be consumed by sensitive populations (pregnant women, children, the elderly and those with compromised immune systems), and the general populus should limit their consumption of rockfish to one serving a month. Consumers of bluefish should limit their consumption to one serving every other month.

The striped bass, or rockfish

This is the eponymous rockfish, the stuff that dreams are made of. Sturdy enough to take a topping of crab imperial, and flavorful and tender enough to stand on its own pan seared or broiled with lemon, garlic, salt, pepper and a bit of white wine.

photo courtesy of National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration/Department of Commerce

This is bluefish. This fish is graduate-level fish eating. If you are scared of bones, don’t eat bluefish. It also has a meaty texture and a very assertive flavor (also not for everyone). This oily fish is best prepared baked, although I’ve eated it fried as a kid and it was really good, but heavy.

I swear, one day I’m going to rant about how we need to really take care of our food supply

Bread, can we still be friends?

Dear Bread,

How have you been? I’m hoping you  are well.  I know I’ve been distant lately, and after reading this letter, I hope you understand why.  I hope it won’t upset you, I’ve realized over our break these past two week s that I can no longer see you.

Our relationship over the 15 months or so have frankly been rough for me; you were there, so you already know what I’m talking about.  I’ve tried you whole-grain and no-grain, french and Italian-style, tandoori and tortilla, and even pitas and it’s all come down to the same sad conclusion: I cannot digest you, and you know it.

Is this some post-Atkins craze excuse? No, and you know this. You know I defended you against all these low-carb freaks that insisted I use lettuce instead of you to make wraps, while all the while those fake protests against eating french fries dissipated into the ether as plate after Atkins-friendly plate came back void of all french fries I placed next to those sandwiches.  I just smirked to myself and knew that like all diet crazes, that this too shall pass.

Had I known that my enjoyment of you would turn into a Faustian nightmare, I would’ve made the transition earlier.

Am I allergic to gluten? No, I don’t have Celiac disease. What is or has happened to us is simple. I eat too much of you; and, let’s just say I , oh fuck it: Bread, I can’t poop after eating you!

There, I’ve said it.

I just can’t go to the bathroom after eating you in any form. And frankly, I’d rather poop than have a sandwich. I just want to know if we can still be friends. Well, can we?

I want to know if I can still touch you ( through the plastic wrapper, of course). Do I have permission smell the  heady aroma of a properly baked loaf of rye as it comes out the oven. Can I  vicariously enjoy the sweet, earthy scent of cinnamon when you appear as raisin bread. Or, when you show up as one of those artisinal types, can I still marvel at the visual richness of your crumb or smile when I see you as a chewy, crater filled ciabatta?

Will you let me love you from afar? I hope so, because this is the only way we can continue.  I hope you understand. Can we still be friends? Let me know.

xxoo,

Culinary Chick

Dinner for One: Sauteed Chicken Breast with Bacon and Tomatoes

Sauteed Chicken Breast with Bacon and Tomatoes

As a single ( and now working) woman, I’ve forgotton how hard it is to get a meal on the table.

This dish has some steps to it, and the level of difficulty from a scale of one to ten is a five, but if you have a bit of time, you can get this on the table in 30 minutes ( please don’t say “Yum-O or any of her sayings!).

This came from looking around in the fridge for something to eat, and this is what I came up with.

It was pretty damn good, too!

Serves One ( two if you add an extra breast)

1 ea. skinless, boneless chicken breast

2 strips bacon, diced

1/2 cup chopped fresh tomato

1/3 cup sliced onion

1 tsp. chopped garlic

1/2  cup chicken stock or white wine

1 tbl. fresh parsley, chopped

1 tbl. fresh basil, chopped

4 tbl.  flour

2 tbl.  butter, cold and cut in cubes

1/4 tsp. lemon zest

salt and pepper to taste

Take the chicken breast and place it between two generous sheets of plastic wrap and flatten with either a iron skillet or rolling pin.  Season breast with salt and pepper, then lightly dust with two of the four tablespoons of flour. Set aside. In a skillet or saute pan, cook chopped bacon over meduim heat until crispy. Drain bacon on paper towels and set aside. Pour all but one tablespoon of bacon fat off and brown off the chicken breast. Set aside.

Place olive oil in pan and saute off the onions, tomatoes and garlic. Return the chicken breast to the pan and add the wine or stock. Bring to a boil and cover pan. Turn heat to low and cook for 5 minutes. Uncover and remove breast from pan. Turn heat up and bring juices to a boil, and reduce until half of the juice remains. Roll butter lightly  in the remaining two tablespoons of flour and add the coated butter to juices in pan. Remove pan from heat and stir butter into sauce until butter is completely melted.  Add bacon, herbs and zest.  Cover chicken with the sauce and serve with pasta, or rice.

Today is National Devil’s Food cake day!

MMMmmm,

Today is National Devil’s Food Cake Day! And what could be wrong with eating a little cake now and again.

Yummy!

Moist and chocolaty, this is the stuff dreams are made of. Check out the Five-Minute Chocolate Cake link on the sidebar, and enjoy.

I sure will

Have you ever tried Poutine?

A relative informed me of her intent to vacation in Montreal in July.  She asked me if I wanted her to bring me a souvenir and before I could answer, she told me she couldn’t bring me any poutine.

“What is that?” I asked her, She replied that poutine is a version of french fries and gravy. But way better. Way.

photo courtesy of exurbanpedestrian.wordpress.com

Poutine is a dish made with french fries. The french fries are fresh not frozen, and are topped with fresh cheese curds ( ya hear that, Wisconsin?) and topped with a rich brown sauce ( maybe a demi-glace?).   You have to be legally dead not to be intrigued by the prospect of trying this.

I’m not dead. I’m dying to try this out, but I am on a restricted diet so it is up to you guys to try to make this at home.

Substitutions

Normally I wouldn’t advocate using any substitutions in a recipe, but you may have to in this case. I haven’t the foggiest idea where you could buy cheese curds; I used to work a bit with fresh mozzarella curd in restaurants, and apparently it is a regional ingredient. I would generally say if you cannot find fresh cheese curds, use fresh mozzarella cheese.

**If you are a poutine-eater, don’t get mad at my suggestion, suggest a better alternative**

Cut and fry your own fries, and  make a brown gravy to top the dish. If you have a picture of your finished product, send it on in and tell me how it tasted!